Wishing...

Walking briskly yesterday morning, dark clouds threatening overhead, I spoke to my mother.  Not in a crazy person, blithering way, but in that deep thinking, if an elephant happened to walk by I would not have noticed way.  I was so in my head, I walked completely past my usual route.

Yesterday would have been my mother's eighty sixth birthday, three years since her passing.

I wished she'd had an easier life.  I wished for her in her golden years to be a lady who lunched,  went to a matinée, had her nails painted red or simply read a book in the shade.  I wished she would have used the new bag I sent her one birthday or lit the pretty candles she received as gifts.  I don't know why she chose the most circuitous route when she could have chosen the easiest.

So today I met a friend for coffee, made an appointment for my nails and lit a candle when I came home.