Nothing is Ever as Good or as Bad as it First Appears...

...one of Husband's often used expression when I come undone.  Usually it's the things that won't matter in a hundred years, the baggage we shouldn't sweat over, but for some reason we do. Well, I do, anyway; let's call it a genetic predisposition to over worry and become unglued.  I'm really good at that.

For you, I can stay totally calm and cool.  I'll tell you 'til the cows come home that everything will be alright; there's a silver lining to every cloud.

A year ago, I know, talk about obsessing, a woman from yoga called to invite me for drinks and dinner, along with the rest of the class.  This question was a constant, sometimes before we began, sometimes after; all I wanted was to do my practice in anonymity and peace, unfettered from the burdens of life.  I believe that's why I signed up.  Call me Miss Unsociable. I barely have time to see the people I'm close to, let alone acquaintances.

"No, but thank you for asking."  And then she responded, apparently not one to give up easily, "Can I ask you for another time?"  Before I could shove the words back in I replied, "No, I just don't have the time."  My harsh retort hung in the air.  I never went back to class after that.  And then we moved.  I kept hoping I would run into her to rectify the matter. Ask for forgiveness. Cross my T's and dot my I's.  Tie up loose ends in a pretty little bow.

I suppose I care what people think of me.  And who wants to be the subject of speculation?

Last week at the grocery store, I saw my yoga lady.  The kind woman who asked me to dinner. She greeted me warmly and without reservation.  We chatted a bit and then I said what I had been wanting to say all year.  I told her I should have been kinder and more appreciative of her invitation. She looked at me, completely dumbfounded and said, "I have no recollection of that conversation at all.  And I am so sorry, I feel terrible, remind me of your name."

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