Brother has a lot of tests, which makes me beyond nervous; but I don't let him know that. Thankfully, so far, and being as superstitious as I am, (I don't want to shout it too loud), but his drug therapy seems to be working...puh, puh, puh. (You may refer to blog, "Puh, Puh, Puh," October, 29, 2011.)
Before he's poked, prodded and scanned, he shows courage on the outside, living each moment, before his appointment and after. He carries on. In the meantime I'm sweating bullets. And when the results are reviewed, and they have been quite promising...puh, puh, puh... he continues on with his day, without skipping a beat. I could so learn from that.
And this is what I know. One, let go. I'm not saying this part is easy and you may have to summon your inner Zen, but it will be worth it. We were always close. But stuff happens, frankly inconsequential stuff and we moved apart, a bit. But, when I let go we came back together, not just brother and sister, but friends. Second, don't put off what's most important. Seeing my brother make the most of each day, packing it with moments, large and small, is awe inspiring.
So here's the lesson. Live like today is the only day. Not the first day of the rest of your life, not the last, the day. Fill it as best you can with love, compassion, appreciation and gratitude. Forego grudges and send them sailing, so far out to sea, that all there is ahead of you is the crystal clear vastness of earth and sky.
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