Why I Do Not Want to Win the Center Lovell Inn...

An essay contest to win an inn in Maine hit the news yesterday. My dear friends and family are bombarding me with requests to throw my hat in the ring and although your confidence in me is heartwarming, these are the following reasons I would not like to own and operate the Center Lovell Inn, in less than 200 words.

1. I want a vacation home in Maine.

2. Seven bathrooms to clean.

3. I want a vacation home in Maine.

4. Taxes.

5. I don't want you to drive more than forty-five minutes from the Portland Jetport to visit us at
    our vacation home in Maine. Lovell is at least an hour and forty-five minutes. Thank you.

6. I'm claustrophobic; don't landlock me in. Center Lovell is in the lakes and mountain
    district of Western Maine. I need to feel an ocean breeze.

7. I want someone to serve me my lobster dinner, not the other way around.

8. You all really just want an inn to stay for free.

9. And what makes you think it was going to be free?

10.$125 is too much to pay to satisfy your desire for me to write, as Janice Sage, the
     owner of the inn suggests, an essay of pithy prose.

And finally number 11, I want a vacation home in Maine.



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